hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
