Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize