Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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