please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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