yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
