I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize