dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
