I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
