you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
