hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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