i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
