I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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