I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize