Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
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I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
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If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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