My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
