btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
