Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
