I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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