I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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