Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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