So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
