I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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