This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
