On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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