Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
wat bout pragnant strippers??
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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