considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
