Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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