just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
