So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If I die, sorry about rent.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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