I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
