My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
