Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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