The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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