i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
