I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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