you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
