I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sorry about my life...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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