before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
