just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize