Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
