nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
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Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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