I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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