Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
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Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
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Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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