Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
