my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
