It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
