..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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