I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
