btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize