Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
