I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
