its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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