Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
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