Whod you bang
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
this beer tastes like vomit already
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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