She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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