you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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