While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Randomize
