Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
