Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
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