Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize