thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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