There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
