problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
