Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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