There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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