come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
