I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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