Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
